Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Archer: DragonCon 2011

In addition to Kratos, I played Woodhouse Manservant in an Archer group costume (by far the worst outfit of anyone, by whatevs). If you have not seen Archer, get the fuck on hulu now and fix yourself.


Full team. Looking sexy.



Woodhouse and Gaara go way back to the old war

S'ok, happens 2-3 times a year


What about "I'm a cyborg" do you not understand?

Cause how hard is it to poach a God damnned egg Woodhouse?

Awesome




Go ahead and shoot. That's how you get ants.


Bock Bock



Archer panel: Lucky Yates (voice of Krieger, face of Ray), a whole bunch of background artists

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Kratos Fan Art

Love. This.

Dragoncon 2012: Costume Ideas

1. Gantz Super Suit
In case you didn't know, Gantz is the only manga series that takes pride in killing off it's main characters. Like this guy? Poof. Dead. This chick just got nailed in her brown uhoh. Cool. Poof. Dead.

Basically, there is a being called Gantz who makes copies of humans when they die (this will be the 2 second summary of this show). The copies are forced to fight against aliens in a hunt armed with futuristic weapons and power suits. If you die fighting the aliens, you are dead for good. If you survive, you have the opportunity to earn points for the aliens you have killed. When you reach 100 points, you have 3 options: go free (and have your memory wiped),  start again at 0 points and get a super cool weapon, or exchange 100 points to revive someone who has died while attached to Gantz (anyone who has been made into a copy).

Some people get addicted to the hunt itself, and end up choosing option 2. Clearing once gets you a Z-gun.


After several hundred points have been earned (it has not been made clear how many clears earns this), you get a super suit. This is what I want to make for next year's DragonCon.


Someone has already created a rendered version, so I have a place to start.


2. Edgar (Final Fantasy 6)
One of my favorite characters for the first half of Final Fantasy 6, Edgar is kind of a pretty boy.

Why would I want to dress up like this tool? Easy, he has tools.

Chain Saw Grawwwwwww!
Edgar totes an autocrossbow, air anchor, bio blaster, chain saw, debilitator, drill, flash, and noise maker. I want to find a way to carry and use them all.


3. Wolfwood (Trigun)
Giant cross wielding maniac priest. What is a Jew to do?



 4. God Kefka (Final Fantasy 6)
After Kefka absorbs the powers from the Gods of Magic, he becomes more than a wicked clown. He goes full purple, lays Ultima spells on you like hot cakes, and plays with a little version of himself. Badass.


 5. Steampunk Dark Link
I have no idea what this would look like. Something as a combination of the following costumes...





6. Goldmember


Saturday, September 3, 2011

Kratos: DragonCon 2011

Finally! Some fucking cosplay!

My skin is irritated as hell from the shaving and makeup, my feet have blisters from the shitty sandals, and my thighs have 0 zero skin left on them from the bandages I wore.

Who gives a shit. I am Kratos.

Taken by my coworker. About when the bandages started to slip.

Oh hai there. Fuck you.

Crazy 88 vs Hammer

Pose

You want MORE?

Dr. Henrietta Killinger and her magical murder bag

Talking shop

Wood Man, Magnet Man, and Blackie?

Lich King. Epic.

Roy Mustang stole my shit

Fuck

Hungrahhhhhh

Sweep vs hammer. Sweep is a dick.

My pretend girlfriend for the night to fend off the bad touch cougars

Fight

Upset at having my hammer blocked, I kill a leprechaun

Had no idea they were doing other poses
Don't remember this. Don't care.

Kerplahhhhhh

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Favorite South Park Episodes



Considering I'm making trivia for the damn show, I'd like to make a short list of my favorite South Park episodes. These are not in any particular order, they are only episodes that made me feel something amazing.

Sexual Harrassment Panda
Chinpoko Mon
The Red Badge of Gayness
Scott Tenorman Must Die (duh)
Red Hot Catholic Love
A Ladder to Heaven
The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers
The Death Camp of Tolerance
Fat Butt and Pancake Head
South Park is Gay
Christian Hard Rock
Casa Bonita
Stupid Spoiled Whore
Woodland Critter Christmas
The Losing Edge
Free Willyzyx
Tsst
Make Love, Not Warcraft
With Appologies to Jesse Jackson
Night of the Living Homeless
Imaginationland 1-3
Breast Cancer Show Ever
The Coon
Dances with Smurfs
Crack Baby Athletic Association


Saturday, August 20, 2011

Level Up 8/20/2011

New PR's
Powerclean 210-->225
Front Squat 235-->255
Behind the Neck Push Press 210-->220
BW Chinups 21-->22

Fuck yes, get stronger.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Letting Go of the Big 2

I have something to admit. I stopped Benching 4 months ago, and Deadlifting 3 weeks ago. What's scary is I've never felt better. This is not to say I have skimped on lifting heavy, I'm simply doing what feels right at the moment. More than anything, I am less fatigued and can lift with higher volume without penalty.

Right now, I am training with Chaos and Pain and a JewGression progression (anything marked with a + progresses with this method).

Chaos and Pain
Day 1 - PUSH
Overhead Press
Chinups
Squats +

Day 2 - PULL
DB Bench Press
Powerclean +
Glute Ham Raises

Day 3 - PUSH
Behind the Neck Push Press +
Chinups
Front Squat +

Day 4 - PULL
Hammer Curl
High Pull +/Shrugs +
Rows
Dips

JewGression
Using 10x3, 12x2, 15x1 rep schemes
Increase 5lbs in a lift every week. If you cannot complete a progression (any exercise), the next week moves to the next rep scheme. Once the 15x1 rep scheme is appraoched, stay there for a single week, then return to 10x3 at the first 12x2 weight.

Example (each weight represents a different week, assume I'm using back squats for this example):
255x10x3
260x10x3
265x10x3 (last 2 sets took a few sets to complete)
270x12x2
275x12x2 (last 3 sets were done as singles)
280x15x1
270x10x3 (first reset week)
275x10x3
etc

I'm tracking my progress on a google spreadsheet.

So, to the Bench Press and Deadlift, we are not breaking up. We just need some time apart.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Faith and the Internet

This is my story, and I'm drunk as hell.

Telling Our StoryWe all have a story that defines who we are and the choices we make. Sally Sorority is the silly drunk girl who screams cadences of WOO-HOO for no reason. She is in every picture that has ever existed on Facebook, ever. Avery Toolbox is a Floridian with giant biceps and an ego to match. He will fight you, but never with a shirt on. Jill Goldencorn is a superJew bookworm extraordinaire. She has a 6.7 grade point average, which is fucking impossible.

What happens to these people when their story is rudely interrupted? Sally finds out noone really likes her and her WOO-HOO voice resembles a flayed bull in heat, Avery has the shit kicked out of him by a nerd who didn't want to fight in the first place (but knows kung fu like a champ), Jill gets Chlamydia and dies (thus failing a test she neglects to show up for). Suddenly, their perfect faith in a story is thrust violently underwater, and they need to either guide themselves back on track, or find a new story.

Chaos and Pain vs Everything Else
When we choose a training style, we create a story for ourselves. We not only need to dedicate ourselves towards training hard with our program, we need to believe that it will move us towards our goals. We do not need to be blind, but we do need to have faith. The internet is a useful tool when it comes to finding new or old training ideas, but it also serves as a catalyst to destroy the faith we have in ourselves and our programs. When you see someone who is big and strong touting a program, all you can surmise is that the program worked for HIM. The reason hopping programs is a foolish idea is rooted in adaptation. Your muscles and central nervous system grow by adapting to a stimulus, then being overloaded with a new adaptation (more weight, different rest periods, drop sets, blah blah blah). If your body is not given the chance to adapt to anything, progression will come at a much slower rate than if you stuck to your guns.

I know how difficult it is to stay rooted to a training style. Just last night, I was read an article in the blog LIFT-RUN-BANG concerning bodybuilder vs powerlifter training. The blog's author argues that sticking to a routine comprised of triples, doubles, and singles is not sustainable long term because of the stress involved on the body's joints and CNS. My current training strategy is not pure powerlifting (Chaos and Pain), but it is built around using triples, doubles, and singles on multi-joint exercises for the majority of my heavy work. The author of LIFT-RUN-BANG has certainly proved his mettle in the world of powerlifting as well as gaining size, but this is no reason to blindly follow another path. Besides the fact that Chaos and Pain focuses on adapting to a high volume with low resting periods routine (something not discussed in the aforementioned blog), who gives a shit what someone else's opinion is? If it works, and it's fun, it's going to be my story. Reading the internet is useful, but believing it all is poison.

When you choose a story, stick with it and work hard.
Have faith, have fun, and get stronger.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Ninja Turtle Rap: Sound Project

My friend Cyndi asked me to do the voices for her audio project. She says she would have liked to cut some more stuff out (especially the times where I'm just babbling on the microphone), but I still like it. My Shredder (through Doctor Claw) and Meatwad voices came out pretty well :).



Also...I forgot how awesome the Ninja Rap dance was.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

4 Exercises You Should Be Doing Already

Every so often, Jamie Lewis (i.e. writer of Chaos and Pain) does an installment about the exercises you should already have in your routine. I'd like to go ahead and discount back squats, deadlifts, and overhead presses from my own lists. For nothing else, I've already hammered in that these movements should be the base of any routine (I know bench press is excluded, get the fuck over it).

1. Weighted Dips
There is absolutely nothing wrong with using bodyweight exercises like the dip. The point I want to make by distinguishing weighted vs unweighted exercises is that it's always easier to transfer progress down than it is to transfer up. Another words, if I can increase my unweighted dip max from 20 to 25, I may see little to no increase in total strength. If I increase the amount of weight I can handle with 95lbs+BW for triples to 100lbs+BW for triples, you can bet your ass I have gotten bigger, stronger, and will likely be able to do more unweighted dips as well.

Current strategy...
Bodyweightx12 (warmup)
BW+110lbsx1
BW+90lbsx5x3
If I hit all reps, increase max by 2.5-5lbs

2. Weighted Chins
See the argument for weighted dips. As another quick example, I went 5 months without training bodyweight chins. At the end of a long workout, I hit 19 chinups without trying. Do weighted chinups.

Current strategy...
Bodyweightx8 (warmup)

3. Glute Ham Raises
These are hard as shit, and will make you walk funny for days. I use them because I have trouble activating my hamstrings and glutes with squats and deadlifts. As an assistance exercise, there are no better bodyweight exercises.

If your gym does not have a glute ham machine (very very likely it does not), lock your legs down wherever you can and slowly descend towards the ground. Keep your back straight, and let your hamstrings/glutes resist the descent. To assist the return, it is likely you will need to push off the ground with your hands.

The goal is to hold weight in your hands, but it will be a long time before you will be able to do so.



4. High Pulls
Like a powerclean without the clean. Deadlift the weight up, then pull the barbell up as high as you can. The last motion will be a violent pull with your traps which should leave you sore for days. The benefit to this exercise is that you can pull far more than you can clean.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Morning Superset #1

The only thing I despise more than cardio is cardio in the morning. I've found a way around what I hate, while still getting some quality gym time in.

Morning Superset#1
a. Split Squats 5x10 (per leg)
b. Dumbbell (DB) Bench Press 10x10

Most hotels should be able to accomodate this routine. You will alternate between split squats and DB bench press every single time you stop moving. So...

1. Split squat left leg
2. DB Bench
3. Split squat right leg
4. DB Bench
...and so on
End result will be 5 sets per leg on split squats, 10 sets of DB Bench

Progress on split squats by adding reps and weight when you can. You will be using the bench press for sheer volume, so always use whatever weight you can handle (it will likely be the largest pair your hotel has to offer). DB Bench should be done with a tempo of 1030 (push up for one count, immediately start going back down, take 3 counts to return down, immediately push up the next rep).

                                                                          

Get stronger (in the morning, bleh).

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Kratos Costume pt4: Barbarian Hammer

Kratos Costume Updates
Nick and I spent Saturday putting together Kratos' barbarian hammer. Nick more or less taught me how to fish, and I think I'll be leading up the design/production from here on out (although, thank you good sir).

Since it's been a long time, this is the barbarian hammer.



Supplies
4x2x2 Insulation foam (Home Depot lumbar section)
Three types of sandpaper (smooth, rough, and scorned vagina grades)
Gesso
Paint (not sure which type)
Gorilla Glue
Bamboo Skewers



1. Stained my wooden dowel blood red. Next steps are to douse white bandages in a red/black wash and wrap the dowel
2. Gorilla glue all equal sized circles together (3 circles each). Cut and sand groups of 3 circles until they are the same size, smoothing groups before I continue
3. Hammer bamboo skewers (~4 per group) through circle groups for more stability
4. Gorilla glue groups of circles and cube together
5. Cut spikes out of insulation foam scrap (~16, not really sure)
6. Gorilla glue spikes to the front of the largest circle group, and around the circumference of the 3rd large circle
7. Cover entire hammer in gesso. This step will seal cracks and allow me to paint on top of the foam
8. Paint the hammer
9. Dry paint the hammer (give it a worn look)
10. Glue and clamp the wooden dowel inside the foam cube
11. (Questionable) Add counter weights to the back of the hammer if necessary

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Noot d Noot: There and Back Again Review of a Funk Revolution

Noot d Noot
I was a musical late bloomer. While all of my friends circled around Offspring and Smash Mouth (ok, a little exaggeration on that second one), my musical exposure was limited to my dad's violin practice and my mom's Enya tapes*. It took some good friends and a lot of weed, but I found the world of funk. It changed my life forever.

Years passed, beards grew, and although I have loved many styles of music, my love for funk has never burned brighter. I thought I liked funk because of the grooves, the fusion of jazz and soul given life on stage, and the afro'd babes. I thought I liked funk, and then I found Noot d Noot.

Noot d Noot respects its funk roots while bringing something new to the table. Every performance, groovy meets electro, and it is a site to behold. Last night in East Atlanta's own Earl venue, I swooned when Noot's African Queen sang Jack, I nearly twisted my ankle dancing to Take It Off, and I will have Balm Yard stuck in my head for days. It's crazy, it's funky, and it won't leave you wanting. If you live in Atlanta, you need some Noot in your life.

Noot d Noot is local to Atlanta, and post all of their shows on their facebook page.



*Try listening to Enya every morning for 7 years straight. I fucking dare you.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Testing


Try new things. Whether it's training, food, entertainment, or love, new experiences will make your day. For example, I tried a delicacy called balut in the Philippines.

Balut (noun) - a half formed duck fetus submerged in a hardboiled egg. Typically served with a drop of hot sauce, a sprinkle of pepper, and a mother duck's love.

Can you use it in a sentence?

Balut. After eating balut, I wanted to cry mung and shit stem cells. Balut.
Was it disgusting, yes. Did I almost vomit blood, yes. Did I level up a bit on gross food, absolutely. I would hate to leave this life with experiences unfulfilled. Say yes, test everything (don't be retarded here).

Apeture Science thinks you need to stop playing Portal and go outside (kidding, there's no escape). Get stronger.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Troy is Dead




I just found out someone I've worked closely with for more than a year took his own life. Friends have been asking me how did he do it, when did he do it, and am I alright. What does it matter? Coworkers have been asking me if I need some time, and can we help, and if you need to go home you can. What does it matter? I'm asking myself if he was always so unhappy, was he reckless on his motorcycle because he wished for death, was his constant man-whoring on girls 20 years his junior a cry for help? What does it matter?

The project he led continues to function. The son he bore has a son of his own on the way. The ranch he owned is being sold. I will go deadlift today, but pray tonight.

It doesn't matter. Troy is dead, but the world moves on.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Haikus pt2


Tough men have rough hands
Rub rub rub rub rub rub rub
Your clit is raw. Thanks!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Squat Push Pull




Altering my training schedule a bit. I'm getting too worn out too quickly, and I'm seeing my numbers drop on almost all lifts. In general, each strength workout will contain a squat, push, and a pull, followed by minimal assistance. Off days are spent resting or miscellaneous light work. Another goal of this method is to bring up my squat, which is currently a poor piece of shit.

Strength 1
- Squat
- Overhead Press
- High Pull
- Partial Squats

Strength 2
- Deadlift
- DB Bench
- Squat for time (135 for 2:30, 225 for 1:30)

Strength 3
- Behind the Neck Push Press
- Powerclean
- Squat for time (225 for 1:30)

Assistance Options (for strength or light days)
Rows
Rack Pull
Sumo Deadlift
Snatch
Dips
Chinups
Incline Seated DB Shoulder Press
Hammer Curl
Split Squat

Friday, May 27, 2011

Next Costume: Halloween 2011

I was watching my roommates DVD collection when I came across an old gem. I have no idea why this show went off the air, or whether anything will ever again capture the manic comedy it exhibited.

I will be the Freakazoid.


Costume:
Red leotard
White Boots
White gloves
Logo
Makeup (blue/black/white)
Wig

Super-teen extraordinaire
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Runs around in underwear
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Rescues Washington D.C.
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Unless something better's on TV
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

His brain's overloading
It has a chocolate coating
Textbook case for Sigmund Freud
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Check out Dexter Douglas
Nerd computer ace
Went surfing on the internet
And was zapped to cyberspace
He turned into the Freakazoid
He's strong and super-quick
He drives the villains crazy
'Cause he's a lunatic

His home base is the Freakalair
Freakazoid! Fricassee!
Floyd the Barber cuts his hair
Freakazoid! Chimpanzee!
Rides around in the Freakmobile
Freakazoid! Freakazoo!
Hopes to make a movie deal
Freaka me! Freaka you!

He's here to save the nation
So stay tuned to this station
If not, we'll be unemployed
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Freakazoid!!!

Paralysis of Decision

I try to avoid reading Internet forums on lifting and exercise if I can. While I enjoy the constant blather and confusion among experts insisting a certain rep range of exercise X will make SWOLE brah (and of course, every self proclaimed expert has a different opinion, thanks biochemical difference), the overload of information does more to wear me down than educate me on my chosen subject. The more extraneous information I read, the less I tend to act. Rather, I will be come paralyzed over whether I am optimizing my training time, and completely change the program I am on.

While I feel that there is always room for experimentation in one's program, I find that the easiest path to staying the course is to remember why I am training.

Am I lifting to become an athlete, bodybuilder, or powerlifter?
No...
Do I really care how much I lift (past tiny competitions between my friends)?
Nyet...
Am I still getting bigger and stronger?
Sure
Well? It doesn't fucking matter if I am doing exercise X then, does it?

You simply cannot copy someone else's workout and expect the exact same results. Use what you enjoy and what works for you. The rest can foosh itself out of existence.


See Daniel. See Daniel run. See Daniel use roids and pussy weights. See Daniel's workout work for you! Click here! You tard. You mushy spineless tard.

I enjoy lifting heavy singles and triples for compound movements. I enjoy some side hypertrophy work. I enjoy hearing the roided up douchebag tell me to do more reps. I also enjoy out lifting said douchebag on everything except the bench press.

Study the basics of natural weight lifting. Go create a program you like, or copy something from a person who has spent their life both studying and practicing your art. 

Fuck the forums, save the empire. Get stronger.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Current Training: May 2011

A
Squat (5x1, 5x3)
Clean+Overhead Press (5x1, 5x3)
Chinups (BWx8, Weightedx4x3)

B
Powerclean (5x1, 5x3)
DB Bench (3x5)
One Armed Rows (3x10)

Bonus Day
- this is a new concept, it only occurs if I have the energy on my rest day
- anything goes, really whatever I feel like
- if anything, a day dedicated to sarcoplasmic hypertrophy
20 Rep Squats
Curl and Press
Overhead Tricep Extensions (sets of 12)
Chinups (sets of 10-20)
Lateral Raises (God forbid)

C
Deadlift (5x1, 5x3)
Dips (BWx12, Weightedx4x3)
Hammer Curls (3x5)
One Armed Rows (3x10)

D
Behind the Neck Push Press (5x1, 5x3)
Pin Presses (5x1)
Chinups (BWx8, Weightedx4x3)
Front Squat (5x5)

Rest Periods
At best, I try to keep each rest period as short as possible. My goal is to shoot for 30-60 seconds between each working set (rest between warmups are sometimes a bit longer), but I would never start a new set if I was certain I would fail.


Progressions
If I am able to complete all of the designated reps at a working weight, I add 5lbs the next time I do the same exercise. If the next weight used is too heavy, I complete the remaining sets at my old weight (and try the higher weight again the following week).

Example of success:
Powerclean
195x1, 195x1, 195x1, 195x1, 195x1
180x3, 180x3, 180x3, 180x3, 180x3
Next Week: 200x5x1, 185x5x3

Example of failure:
Powerclean
195x1, 195x1, 195x1, 195x1, 195x1
180x3, 180x3, 180x3, 180x1, 175x2
Next Week: 200x5x1, 180x5x3

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

3-D Movies: The End of the 4th Wall

David Mamet - the bells and whistles of film have become the reason films exist to begin with

Film is dead. It has been bruised by producers, raped savagely by profit margins, and left bleeding in the alleys of Hollywood after the stars and starlets are done with their vehicles. However, I feel that the advent of 3D is the final spike in creativity's groin.

Technology and Art
Some films are made to be an orgy of technology splashed with some dialogue. As Tron did in the 80's (and Tron Legacy horribly repeated in 2011), new ideas and experiments were attempted and lauded as successes even though the movies themselves are worthless.

One of the reasons I have come to love film is that it is no one man's effort that creates a final product. A perfect film is a culmination and artistic display of hundreds, sometimes thousands of individuals contributing one effort into the conglomerated whole. Given direction from the head, the cells that work for a film can either make or break the organism (Unions, hookups, and set drug use are other variables, alas another conversation for another day).

Some of my favorite techniques are employed by director Wes Anderson. He sets life up like a stage, almost double framing every event that occurs within his movies to the point where even the surreal is completely believable (see The Life Aquatic for my favorite examples; the lights and dock where Steve Zissou stands while his wife flies away overhead, and the way Steve and his endless gun clips charge headfirst into a barrage of pirate gunfire). His films utilize his own blend of storytelling, color, and framing created with the aid of hundreds in crew, and creates a mesh between technology and art.

The 4th Wall
Film maintained its independence from other forms of media (mainly television) because it operated with a 16:9 aspect ratio across a large screen. When combined with a pitch black room and encompassing sound, what is called the '4th Wall' can be erected and maintained over an audience. The 4th Wall is used to suspend an audience's disbelief where as the film and its story is concerned. If the cast and crew did their job well, your mind pieces together the film as an actual event (or at the very least, a nice play with silly jump cuts), and you are able to enjoy the film as if you were there watching the events unfold themselves.

a. Used for Good
A good director can use and abuse the 4th wall to their advantage. Easy examples of comic use of tearing down the 4th wall would be when Ferris Bueller or Wayne and Garth turn to the audience to speak to you directly. At that point, the wall evaporates so the actor on screen can have a one way conversation with the audience. Alternatively, the wall is also preserved through this method, as the audience can begin to understand this breach of normality as a believable piece of the story.

b. Used for Disruption
Slight changes in continuity can clue the audience into something going wrong. This can be as subtle as a perceived change in color from the camera lens, or as disconcerting as switching the picture's horizontal axis 180 degrees (i.e. switching the x-axis position of everything on screen).

c. Used for Evil
Shitty continuity problems (not intentional). Most are not seen by the audience, mostly because your mind is not looking for subtle continuity errors. They are in virtually every movie, but the audience 'edits' them out of mind for the most part. If these types of errors are so blatant that you can notice them, they will tickle your sense of humor and punch your sense of rage.

3-D Films
When you put on 3-d glasses, you painfully aware that the 4th wall doesn't exist. Hollywood is actually giving you a device to see through the wall itself. Oh, your eyesight through my bullshit good enough? Here, take these glasses and pay me twice as much. The story, editing, and cinematography are no longer key components of selling a movie. Punchlines and imagery reign supreme. You can point out the lines and scenes where a producer though, oh, that might be cool, let's add that. Art is ruined by the cool, and our industry has disappeared into a chorus of Michael Bay splosion! Boom! Zwang! Kapows!

My greatest concern is that while several people my age (although not the majority) share my disdain for the 3-d phenomenon, I realize that we are not the target. The next generation is. These years are acceptance testing so what is foreign to us becomes the house standard in the future. The 4th wall is gone, and while I pay to keep my eyes wide open, I can't see a thing.

Monday, May 9, 2011

FF7 and Making Out in Basements

I don't know what special attachments people have to old games. Personally, some of my oldest and distinct memories have their roots in electronics.

Super Mario Brothers - I used to call my dad downstairs to handle the long [sic] jump in level 1-1.

To be fair, everything looks huge to a 5 year old

Secret of Evermore - Set up almost as an escapist type of dream. I would return to Prehistoria nightly to meet my friends and slay some raptors. If you have known me for any appreciable amount of time, you have probably been a part of this dream.


Although everyone usually bails at this part

Final Fantasy 7 - My first kiss is forever linked to Barret's Big Shot limit break. The moment he blew his load on Air Buster's back, both Kristen and myself could no longer contain our sloppy lips. As Cloud tumbled towards a certain death through the cascading shrapnel that was once a Mako Power Plant, I was getting choked by a tongue. Thanks puberty!


Here, right here