ethos | stress

Summary
Declutter to destress. Be surrounded by the things and people you love.

Preamble Ramble
First the necessary word vomit. Marie and I are not connected in any way shape or form. I don't get cash money from plugging her book or her method. I'm plugging her because of how she fits into the puzzle that is Rollin with Chet.

The Ramble
Marie Kondo changed my life in 2019. You know that feeling where you know your brain is on the right track to a decision but you need someone or something to give you permission to execute? That was Marie, fucking, Kondo.

I always noticed how my happiest times all had two things in common:
- I was not injured
- My house was tidy

Conversely, depression was always marked with clutter. With dishes in the sink. With collecting random crap I didn't need. I would find myself trying to find space for things that I no longer used but held a place in my heart. My super nintendo (what if someone wants to play), my VCR (isn't it cool), my various old Dragoncon costumes (my history), clothes people bought for me that I never wore (it would be rude to throw away these ugly fucking khakis I guess I'll worry about that when I die).

All of these things "had" a place in the sense that they were put away. Everything having a place meant that it was tucked away somewhere random. I had no idea where anything was, and I had no intention on using these things soon or ever. Because these things had a place, anything new added to my life had no space at all. I found my attempts to clean my house half hearted at best. Leaving me elated for 2 weeks until inevitably some small amount of clutter broke the house of cards.

The Purge
Enter Marie Kondo and her book 'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.' Your experience with this book may be different, but here is what I got out of it:
- Asking each item 'do you spark joy' is a decent indicator of whether it belongs in your current life.
- Removing items that do not spark joy leave you surrounded only by things you love.
- You do not owe anyone to hold onto an item because it was a gift. Shackles are shackles.
- You can honor your history without holding onto the items that defined it.

In a single weekend I offloaded more than 70% of my belongings. 5 trips to Goodwill. And many followed after. Words cannot express the joy that followed. I found that even the things I felt a slight regret about giving away didn't actually impact my life. Yes, giving away my Batman costume and PS2 was difficult. Yes, I freaked out a bit after giving away things that had followed me from my mid 20s into my mid 30s. But giving them away didn't actually do anything. There hasn't been a time since then when I thought 'you know what, I really wish I could play Kingdom Hearts 2 right now' or 'I really wish I could dress up like Batman and scare the neighbors.' Because those things don't happen. I was terrified at the idea of losing these things that impacted my life 0% whether or not they belonged to me.

It was important to me that two things happened when giving objects away:
- I thanked them for taking me this far
- I thought about how much someone else will enjoy them in the future

It Continues
This is not a one time event. I'm always looking for more things to give away. I always ask myself whether I want to keep the things given to me or pick up something new.

Do yourself a favor:
- Get a library card
- Download libby (app)
- Listen to 'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up'

There is so much you can do for yourself with minimal effort.