ring muscle up before I'm 40

Game fucking on y'all. My.nerve damage has diminished to the point where I can train my upper body safety again. In the same way I hit a 500 dead after herniating multiple discs (immediate thought after was oh nooooo I'll never be strong again) I'm going to hit the target I thought was lost to me the moment I injured my neck.

Context. In a single day in 2021:

- I hurt my neck doing handstand pushups (d'oh).

- Hurt it more trying to do a muscle up with no training (why).

- Then made the problem 10x worse by doing farmers walks later in the day (I thought it would stretch me out!).

What resulted was my neck hurting so badly I couldn't move without assistance, my entire left arm going numb, and my body losing all ability to pull (the nerves literally didn't connect). Am I 100% better? Nah. My strength isn't what it was, and there is always some residual numbness. But I'm smarter now. Maybe. Active daily mobility and actually training my neck is mah friend. You probably can't compete at the highest levels of (fill in something) with nerve damage. But a muscle up? Bitch please. This is doable.

The system

Full body every other day. 

- heavy focus on upper body.

- lower body is super light via rehab and acclimation.

Daily practice with false grip. That shit hurts.

Off days.

- neck and foot strength.

- mobility.

The only thing that will change once my lower body is cleared is extra conditioning sessions. I want a larger engine, not necessarily to directly strength train my lower. This means kettlebells and sandbags. Together at last.

shower thought biceps on biceps

The pelican curl is the Nordic hamstring curl for the arms. Extremely high tension and high difficulty ceiling. 

Training elements are mostly the same. Slow negatives, full range of motion with bands 

calisthenics progression (still vetting)

Every once in a while a fun idea comes across your brain. It's too good to ignore sonit gets put into immediate action.

Concept 

Prioritizing calisthenics via both weights and leverage progressions 

What it looks like

Shoot for a rep goal

Add weight when the rep goal is achieved 

Repeat until stale

Deload movement

Replace movement with a more difficult variation.

Example

Pushups 3x15, increase weight

+2.5lbs Pushups 3x12

+2.5lbs Pushups 3x15, increase weight

+5lbs Pushups 3x10

...weeks later

+25lbs Pushups 3x6, my shit hurts.

Pushups 3x5

Pushups 3x10, switch to new movement.

Archer Pushups 3x7

Archer Pushers 3x9

Etc

staggered rest versus supersets

I read something in Overcoming Gravity (gymnastics training for gen pop, excellent read and reference) that resonated with me and I've since implemented in my own training. 

Concept

Staggering rest periods instead of super setting exercises. 

Example super setting followed by rest

Set of ring pullups

Set of ring dips

Rest 3-5min

Example of staggering rest periods

Set of ring pullups 

Rest 1.5-2.5min

Set of ring dips

Rest 1.5-2.5min

Benefits

- fatigue from the leading exercise does not limit the second exercise.

- grip strength is not a limiting factor.

- rest periods can be used to stretch antagonist muscles, warm up the lower body, or sit and chill.

- overall cycle time of the workout is not extended.

Overall performance will still be better if you chose neither of the options above (pullups, rest 5min, pullups, etc), but the tradeoff is a longer workout. If your goal is to improve conditioning, then this method is not for you. The rest periods in line are geared towards strength development.

I was able to use the stagger method to complete the sets below in 45min. 

Ring pullups X3 stagger bar dips X3

Pelican curls X3 stagger pushups X3

V sit x3 stagger Romanian deadlift X3

Ring wrist curls x1 

rehab work: don't be dainty

I'm in a bad position and I hate it. My knee has been a problem for years and I'm finally in physical therapy dealing with it. Because that wasn't enough, my neck is flaring up in a major way that promises to hand me another couple of years of pain and discomfort. As with all setbacks, this is a blessing in disguise. 

Over the past few years I haven't been able to give what I would consider high effort to any sets. My body and strength 100% reflect this. The main mission is clear: fix my shit. Strength and conditioning can take a back seat for a few months so long term progress can actually happen.

The plan

- actually purchase and follow someone else mobility plan. The slot machine approach I'm taking is too random to be useful.

- spend 3 months building mobility and joint integrity.

- reintroduce strength training. The mobility train doesn't stop, it just takes a supporting role.

Where dainty matters

My knee physical therapy can be done in my sleep. If the goal is to build up the muscle and tissues that are atrophied, dainty isn't the way to go.

Why not train these movements with intensity? Why not train as if they were main movements? They're all I can do right now! I'm bored because I'm treating them like a chore instead of a goal. I can tell ya, 2x10 of single leg calf raises slaps very different then hitting single leg calf raises to failure, then assisted failure, then double leg calf raises with extended range of motion to failure and assisted failure. 

One of these methods sets off hypertrophic processes. The other isn't garbage, but I'm way less incentivised to follow it. 

daily training: the importance of light days

Training daily will build your capacity to do work no doubt, but you are not an infinite machine. Sooner or later the fatigue from heavy days will manifest in feeling tired, irritable, or overly sore in key areas (lower back) limiting your overall outputs.

The easiest way to mitigate long term stress is to implement active recovery days. The overall stress should be low while still providing a stimulus.

Ideas

- long brisk walks

- push or pull sled

- kettlebell carries (multiple levels)

- band movements for high reps

action after injuries!

The worst advice I ever got during physical therapy and chiro post injury was essentially the same: stop doing everything. Cool story bro. I stopped. The pain got worse, not better. I lost muscle and gained fat. Basically all the worst parts of the Bible.

Workaround.

Youre hurt, not broken. There is always something you can do. Injuries are opportunities in disguise to get fucking creative and progress by spamming movements you still have the ability to do. Experiment. If it causes pain or makes the injury worse. STOP! 

Your job is to heal. 

Your affected body part may or may do it on its own. Barring the need for surgery, your job is do everything in your power to recover. This might mean constant walks, light strengthing and mobility of surrounding joints and muscles. You know, boring shit. Embrace it. You can either be back to where you were 4 months from now or just starting to figure it out years later. Don't be the second guy.

Per body part I've injured:

Back

- heal: brisk walks, suitcase carries

- workaround: pullups, dips, single arm presses, chest supported rows, bw Bulgarian split squats 

Neck

- heal: chest stretches (door jam, barbell rollouts), neck and back massage

- workaround: walks, sled pulls (weight around waist)

Knee

- heal: will tell ya when I know. Right now,.weighted carries feel great.

- workaround: upper upper body is in 

if I had to rebuild from scratch

'What would I do if I could start over' is a fun thought experiment I like to mosey down periodically. This takes into account injury history, current strength and size levels given where I'm at now, and the time investment I've spent driving to and from gyms. Much like my great possession purge of 2019, this experiment forces me to reevaluate the choices I've made and what equipment I really need.

If some random stranger ever sees this, please don't take this as dogma. I only got to where I was by trying a lot of shit and fucking up a million times along the way. Your journey and goals may be very different than mine. All of the words below are powered on the wings of hindsight.

1. Invest in a home gym.

Between 2020 and 2023, I've dropped about $3000 on equipment I will own forever. Some of that equipment (armor fitness sled, the strap) was both not usable and a large chunk of this budget. Even so, my gym memberships from 2009-2019 ran about $30/month.

30*12months*10yrs = $3600.

Surface level this is almost the same amount of money, but it's not even close. Every gym I've ever been to created a fight for equipment, parking spots, and included a lengthy drive for stuff I did not and would never own.

In the next couple of bullets I'll dilute the $3000 I spent event further. A home gym is a long term cheaper alternative for equipment that is free 24/7.

2. Don't buy protein powder.

I'd like to say 'dont but supplements period' but that would be a bit disingenuous. Food should be the primary driver of your protein. It's too easy to fall into the trap of using whey to replace a good meal. 

Supplements I do like and take daily:

- magnesium glycinate 

- zinc (no isotope preference)

- creatine 

3. But Olympic rings first.

This runs under the assumption that you have places to hang them. Alternatively an initial investment of a sturdy Pullup bar followed by rings works as well.

If all you cared about was a build upper body, you can stop here. Even without adding weight, the amount of variation you can add to basic movements means you will never run out of progressions or skills to try for. 

Ring cost: $30/set.

Suggested investment: 1 pair if you are not lazy. 3 pairs of you are lazy (note: I am a lazy fuck and like my rings preset for pullups, dips, and pushups without having to reset them. This is not necessary but I've got the disposable cash to manage).

4. But sandbags second.

This one was a surprise to me. I'm a recent shill for sandbags so a lot of this energy is newbie joy. 

Sandbags check a ton of boxes. They build real world stable strength, can double as a non dangerous squatting tool, are great for carries, and also are great for safe dynamic pulls. Due to their lack of stability, they are not optimal if you're looking to build max strength or size. For my goals, they are absolutely perfect. I'd rather be the guy who can any day throw a 200lb sandbag on his shoulders half a dozen times than the dude who can deadlift 400lbs for reps.

The sandbags themselves aren't cheap (if you buy the nicer strongman bags), but the sand inside them is literally cheap as dirt. Quick side by side given the market today on iron weights versus sand.

Iron 100lbs * $2/lb = $200.

Sand 100lbs * $0.10/lb = $10.

A barbell might only be $150 but getting the weights for what you need will still carry a hefty investment. The major downside to sandbags is also my favorite upside. Unlike barbells, changing weight is a pain in the ass. The shill is talking loudly here, but one of the coolest things about old time strongmen is they did not have access to adjustable barbells like we have today. All of their barbells and implements were fixed weight. It's all they had to work with. What happens when you get so strong with the same weight that it's stupid? You find creative ways to bring the intensity back up and the reps back down until you get better at that variation as well. Sandbags aren't necessarily in the same league because at the end of the day you CAN still adjust them within their carry limit. However, my favorite use of them is to use a weight until it'l feels too light to be challenging anymore.

Sandbag cost: $100-$200 per bag for cerebus bags. You can also build your own for cheap using old bags and bag liners. 

Sand cost: $5/50lbs.

5. Buy kettlebells third.

This can be a single bell, a single adjustable bell, or multiple bells. Unless you plan on being a pure kettlebell lifter, don't stress too much on what to get. 

I definitely stressed over cast iron versus competition. Then adjustable versus regular. In the end, they're all good for different things. If the bell is too light, lift it more or find different ways to lift it that make it more difficult. See my fixed weight ramble in the sandbag section.

Price is wildly different depending on what you want. If I could redo this, I would find the cheapest 16kg, 20kg, and 24kg bells on sale and call it a day.

6. Buy a Nordic stick fourth.

Nordic hamstring curls are the fucking bomb. There are a crap ton of items on the market that range from 300-1000 to assist with glute ham raises or Nordic curls, but I've found the Nordic stick to work just fine for cheap.

Nordic curls are great for hamstring strength and size wrapped in a bodyweight movement. I'm wrapping in bands to this sale as you will almost certainly need them to make the movement easier when first starting.

Nordic stick coat: $30

Bands (rogue - 2 blue, 2 orange): $50

7. Buy a barbell and weights last.

This route obviously won't work if your goal is max strength or size. So again, take with grains of salt.

For me, barbells serve very limited usage. They still reign king for most people, but this isn't a list for most people. 

I mainly use barbells for the following:

- pin squats 

- pendlay rows, one arm rows

- shoulder rollouts (stretch)

I love what I have, but if I could go back in time, a barbell (and rack) would have been the last on my list. Another reason for this placement is I had it stuck in my head for YEARS that I would be unable to make any type of progress without both a bar and a rack. When I finally got both I told my wife it was fucking game time. Little did I know I would end up barely using said rack in lieu for everything else on this list.

Another big driver away from racks and barbells is I work from home. When you are home all day everyday you get stir crazy as fuck. For my mental health, I need daily exercise outside in the sun. Working out in my rack does not support that need.

more ramblings on a carry based program

To review, my program consists of a few things:

- daily easy strength: dips and chinups.

- daily stretching and mobility.

- 3x week sandbag carries, squats, cleans, and throws.

- 1x week Nordic curls (bb rep ranges), keg carries.

I don't want to undersell how much I love this format. Program ADD is handled by the fact that the main movements have no defined weight. For kegs and sandbags it's just: move it a few times if it's heavy and a lot of times if it's light. Move as fast as possible during carries and never carry the same way twice. My back feels GREAT in a way that kind of surprised me. I'm not expecting to get huge off of this type of training in most body parts (looking at you shoulders, legs, and arms) but my erectors are going to be fuckin columns of steel. Very batman results. 

I'm feeling almost 0 overall fatigue and I can feel my conditioning get better week by week. Hell man, last week post cleans my entire back and traps felt like someone had smashed them with tiny hammers. This week I went harder and my back barely noticed. 

The absolute best part of this is getting 'used' to a weight while still making progress. I can sum up progressive overload like:

- go for more sets in the same amount of time

- add more reps between carries.

- consciously move faster during carries. You should be trying to move at a dead run.

- every 2-4 weeks add a little water (keg) and sand (bags).

ez strength: step loading weighted calisthenics

Weighted calisthenics is a great AM option for easy strength. This goes double considering the lions share of my actual training is conditioning with sandbags which contains absolutely 0 pressing.

The area where I'm going outside of easy strength is in the daily rep ranges. I start inside the params and end slightly out. The overall daily volume is still EXTREMELY small, and none of the sets build any type of fatigue. Recovery day to day has been a non issue.

Step Loading Easy Strength (3-5min daily) 

Calisthenics press 2-5x2-3

(Super set) Calisthenics pull 2-5x2-3

Rest 1min between super sets 

This works great regardless of whether you need regressed, bodyweight, or weighted versions of a movement.

Every day, add a rep to the daily load. Once you max out the 3's, add a set and regress to sets of 2 again. NEVER STRUGGLE.

Example (each row is a day)

2,2,2

3,2,2

3,3,3

2,2,2,2

3,2,2,2

...

3,3,3,3,3

Increase weight or progress variation

2,2,2

Weight increments should be the smallest possible increment (2.5-5lbs). The goal is to be able.to.comtinually gain strength as long as possible without changing movements or deloading.

sandbag based training program

Tldr if I could rebuild my gym, I would keep the rings, the sandbags, the sled, and a kettlebell. If I move I might leave the power rack behind.

This shit is money. All main movements are based around squatting, throwing, and carrying sandbags. Assistance is a mix of barbell, kettlebell, and calisthenics. There are four(4) mesocycles in a year long macrocycle. 

Each mesocycle is based around three(3) concepts:

• A calisthenics movement or curl performed daily. 
• Set sandbag weight(s). 2-4x a week.
• Kettlebell or barbell assistance. 2-4x a week after sandbag training. The movement patterns should be the opposite of the daily movement.

At the end of every mesocycle:

• Change your daily movement.
• Increase sandbag weights.

The goal is to use each three(3) month mesocycle to own the crap out of a given sandbag weight. Your bags should feel like toys when you are done. Progression with sandbags can take the form of adding more reps/rounds, performing more rounds, adding more exercises to each round.

Schedule

AM - Daily

Mobility

10 sets of the daily movement: Dips, Pullups, Pushups, DB Curls. 1min rest between sets.

Stretch

PM - 2-4x a week.

30min sandbag training. Combine different permutations of squats, carries, and throws. 

Assistance:

• Counter daily movement 3x8. 1min rest between sets.
• 1x BW reverse lunges to failure.
• Stretch.

PM - non-lifting days.

Sled, KB Swings, Suitcase Carries. 

Sandbag Parking Lot

Squat: Bear hug squat (1 or 2 arm), shoulder squat, box squat, jump squat.

Carry: Bear hug (1 or 2 arm), overhead, shoulder.

Throw: Over shoulder, slam, push forward. 

high frequency barbell, kettlebell, and calisthenics

Nothing new to say here. It's important I record when I'm doing something I love so when I inevitably forget I have a clear record of the past.

Goals 6/19/23

General 

- improve condition, work capacity, and mobility

- get outside daily

- introduce movement (sprints, bounds, crawls) into the mix for the thought of moving doesn't feel alien

Specific

- half snatch 28kg x 12

- goblet squat 32kg x 12

- floor press 200lb x 12

Schedule

M-F AM: modified easy strength 

M-F PM: alternate upper calisthenics and kb

Sat AM: barbell upper bodybuilding

Modified easy strength: 15min

Jump rope

Ab wheel

Lower barbell movement <= 10 reps

Light kb swing

Stretch and mobility

Upper calisthenics

Strength: weighted or advanced patterns

Afternoon suntan: outside volume, crawls, downs, etc

Kb

Sprint 

Dynamic movement - snatch, swing, jumps, etc

Squat

Deadlift

Leg curls 

Bodybuilding

Press 50 in 5 ss pull 50 in 5

Lats 60 in 4

abbreviated training + conditioning

I need to stop myself every time I build a program with 4+ days of lifting a week. It's not like that doesn't work. It totally does. But I also walk around feeling like absolute tired shit all the time. I thought this was a bad thing for years and years but really it's a god damn blessing to have 'bad recovery.' I get more out of less work bwahhhhhh. Lifting 2x a week is money when you go hard in the paint on every set then recover.

This is not saying that I'm a couch potato the remaining 5 days of the week. Far from it. Every day has something physical whether it's kettlebell conditioning, sled drags, stretching, and calisthenics. The idea is that the non lifting days do not eat further into recovery.

Example

Monday

Squat or Press 1-5 sets. 50 rep goal.

Nordic hamstring curl 1xbeyond failure 

Carry 10min

Tuesday 

Calisthenics. One push or pull.

Kettlebell conditioning 20-30min

Wednesday

Sled, stretching, or off

Thursday

Deadlift 1-5 sets. 50 rep goal.

Sissy squat. 1xbeyond failure

Carry 10min

Friday 

Same as Tuesday 

Sat

Same as Wednesday 

Sun

Off

Lifting cycle and movement replacement

The same movement variations repeat in a 2 week rotation. Meaning you will only practice a movement one time every 2 weeks. If you fail to increase reps towards the 50 rep goal 2 weeks in a row, swap it out for a different lift.

Squats: Zercher, safety, front, landmine, viking, sandbag

Presses: floor press, landmine, viking, calisthenics presses, one arm javelin, kettlebell 

Deads: snatch rack pull, sumo, hang clean, hang snatch high pull, one arm deadlift 

For squats and deads, work up to a very low max before hitting volume towards your rep goal. Use straps for deadlift volume. Grip should not be the limiting factor on reps but it should on strength.

Increase weight 5-10 pounds at a time. If things are going well, you should not be replacing more.than 1 movement at a time.

$$$ conditioning tool: sled and kb combo

30min on the clock

Equipment needed:

- drag sled.

- single kettlebell. The weight doesn't matter.

Alternate until time is up

Sled drag

Snatch (left)

Sled drag

Snatch (right)

Sled drag

Swing (left)

Sled drag

Swing (right)

Progression by adding a small amount of reps over time to kb movements. Increase weight of the sled by 2.5-5lbs and the kb by 2-4kg once kb reps reach the stratosphere.

The goal is restoration and conditioning. Avoid failure and fatigue like the plague.

The fast motion of a kb followed by the slow motion of a sled drag makes my butt feel feelings. 

3 months of kettlebelling : lessons learned

Oh boy here I go brain dropping again.

Fixed weight implements are the fucking bomb. I missed out on 2020 when I 'only' had a 20kg kettlebell and thought I couldn't do anything useful with it. Today, it's the most common implement I use. Times change.

If your back hurts after ballistics, you likely aren't hinging well or hinging at the mid back instead of the hips. Film yourself with a light bell to see where your weakness lies.

Dan John's easy strength program pairs VERY well with kb strength, conditioning, and bodybuilding.

Current program:

M-F morning is easy strength.

M-Sat afternoon is kettlebell work. Two of those days use 5/3/1 progression for overload movements followed by lighter assistance (high volume and movement variety).

Arms are thrown in whenever cause arms.

This may be shit technique, but with one handed movements I've found I like to favor the blastoff force on the opposite glute and hamstring.

Variety is rewarded over specificity. There's nothing wrong with training a specific movement pattern, but where kettlebells shine is just how many ways you can swing, press, squat, whatever them.

If you are using your free arm for balance when using a single bell, you are robbing your obliques of a crazy training effect. Keep your arm out when you need assistance or when you are exploring new weights. For volume or ladder training, let your abs provide your balance. 

If you don't know how kettlebells work your abs, try snatches with a heavier weight. Those fuckers are trying to yank you over unless you provide the counter force in your own body.

Swings are both under and overrated. I can't see them being a great long term minimalism training movement, but they shine for me with the following:

- light swings to prime the pump for heavier work

- heavy swings used to overload the muscles used for snatches and cleans. It's weird AF to relegate a movement as assistance then work it harder than the main movements but here we are.

Kettlebells are a cult of personality for a reason. Im able to work out outside and get some sun everyday without a huge time investment. It cannot be understated how important this is 

You don't have to 'just' do kettlebells. You may end up in that lane, but don't trade one dogma for another.

Kettlebells build muscle like any other tool. Pay attention to the people that are getting jacked with bells. There is no one method that works for everyone, but the through line is consistency and a focus on progression like any other implement. Weight progression will come slower with bells but it still needs to be a part of your plan.

You can bodybuild with kettlebells, but kettlebells will never make you into a competitive bodybuilder. For general strength training, it's just peachy.