I'm a complete kettlebell novice, but not a lifting novice. Back and neck injuries have kept me on the bench for the past few years and I'm grateful to have the chance to build myself back up. With 0 incentive to revisit lifts or numbers I used to produce without an accompany revisit to physical therapy I've chosen kettlebells as my medium.
Schedule
Squat / press
Off: calisthenics
Dead / pull
Off: calisthenics
Weights
Oscillate between medium, heavy, and light pairs of days. Increase the weight when it's too easy. There is no rush to increase weight EVER. The focus is on improving control, coordination, power, and cardio.
Kettlebells will always be submaxinal weight, so make them feel heavy. This means:
- slow negative
- explosive concentric
- pause every rep
- squeeze the side that is not being directly worked
Movements
Choose chaos via python script. It should be rare that the same workout occurs twice, but the same patterns will always repeat.
Patterns
- lower / lower alt
- upper
- combination lower and upper
- ab focus
Nuances
45min on the clock.
As many sets as possible under control.
Rep quality > rep quantity. When in doubt do less but do it better.
1 set is the same sequence repeated on both sides (assuming most patterns are unilateral with 1 bell).
Bilateral movements are repeated on both halves of the set.
Lower / lower alt refers to an alternative movement every other set. Example:
- set 1: rack split squats
- set 2: Cossack squats
Body improvement goals
No measurements, just markers.
This is not an aesthetic physique goal. I essentially want to become a cube. Thin waist be damned.
Shoulders and abs should chunk up.
Lats should get thicker.
Spinal erectors should get thick as fuck.
Arms will benefit most from the off day dips/pullups. I don't expect kettlebells to do much in that regard.
Calisthenics: why and how
Dip variation is the name of the game here. I may add in pullups down the road, but my back is getting plenty of work on the reg. Likewise, my shoulders will benefit greatly from all things overhead. That leaves chest and triceps. Even if I'm going hard in the paint on dips, it's unlikely my chest and triceps will ever be a limiting factor for kettlebell work.
On the how, I'm stealing directly from swole at every heights method for implementing high ass frequency on 'off' days.
Build base volume
Week 1: 1 exercise x 1x10
Week 2: 1 exercise x 2x10
...
Week 4: 1 exercise x 4x10
Week 5: 2 exercises x 1x10
...
Week 12: 3 exercises x 4x10
Then add in chaos. Never repeat the same variations in the same order. If this gets too easy in any context, add reps or change the variation. Slow reps and pauses are a first line of adding control.
