Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Video Game Bodyweight Training

Why the fuck is Wolverine doing cardio?

Last night I revitalized one of my favorite training methods for the methodically lazy asshole. While playing video games (non-online), create a trigger that periodically forces you to do one set of a bodyweight movement.

Exercises to Use
My most commonly used exercise is the clapping pushup. This way, I can keep my reps relatively low (I range from 10-25 reps per set depending on how I feel), but also not feel like I am drained from a large amount of volume for future weight training workouts.

Feel free to experiment with whatever bodyweight exercise you like. Examples are...
- Squats (this may not work because of how many reps you can burn out)
- Jumping Squats
- Pistols
- Pushups (and all variations)
- Pullups (and all variations)

How to Implement
First off, stand up while you play video games. If you sit down or lie down, you are more likely to stay that way. Again, any time a certain trigger occurs, do an exercise for as many reps as you can.

Trigger Examples
- With any RPG, when any character in your party gains a level. In Kingdom hearts, this trigger was pulled every 7-10 minutes.
- In short action games, when you finish a level. In Contra 3, this trigger was pulled every 7-10 minutes.
- In sports games, when a quarter ends
Blah blah blah

Create a trigger so the intervals are spaced apart by a few minutes. This methodology is NOT a training session. It is a way to get in light extra work without cutting into your recovery time.

Get stronger

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Charlie the Choo Choo

Comic credit goes to

The following is blatantly ripped off from Stephen King's "The Waste Lands." After reading a few paragraphs of the original story, I fell asleep and dreamt of my own version. Thanks Brain.

Charlie the Choo Choo
Bob Brooks was an engineer for The Mid-World Railway Company, on the St. Louis to Topeka run. Engineer Bob was the best trainman The Mid-World Railway Company ever had, and Charlie was the best train!

Charlie was a 402 Big Boy Steam Locomotive, and Engineer Bob was the only man who had ever been allowed to sit in his peak-seat and pull the whistle.Everyone knew the WHOOO-HOOOOO of Charlie's whistle, and whenever they heard it echoing across the flat Kansas countryside, they said, "There goes Charlie and Engineer Bob, the fastest team between St. Louis and Topeka!"

Boys and girls ran into their yards to watch Charlie and Engineer Bob go by. Engineer Bob would smile and wave.The children would smile and wave back.

Engineer Bob had a special secret. He was the only one who knew. Charlie the Choo Choo was really, really alive. One day while they were making the run between Topeka and St. Louis, Engineer Bob heard singing, very soft and low.

"Who is in the cab with me?" Engineer Bob said sternly.
"Don't worry," said a small gruff voice. "It is only I."
"Who's I," Engineer Bob asked. He spoke in his biggest, sternest voice, because he still thought someone was playing a joke on him.
"Charlie," said the small, gruff voice.
"Hardy har-har!" said Engineer Bob. "Trains can't talk! I may not know much, but I know that! If you're Charlie, I suppose you can blow your own whistle!"
"Of course," said the small, gruff voice, and just then the whistle made its big noise, rolling out across the Missouri plains: WHOOO-HOOOOOO!
"Goodness!" said Engineer Bob. "It really is you!"
"I told you," said Charlie the Choo Choo.
"How come I never knew you were alive before?" asked Engineer Bob. "Why didn't you ever talk to me before?"
"I'm going to murder you Bob," growled Charlie in a low, gruff voice. "When they find your shriveled body, they will lose sleep wondering how long you stayed awake before the steam and ash melted in your throat."
A small WHOO HOOO laced with malice rung through the conductor's car. Steam and exhaust battled their way into each and ever car where Charlie felt feet stomp a romping round his floors. Before the crescendo of screams started to die, Charlie derailed his bodies from the bridge tracks above to plummet into the ravine below.
There was a terrible silence
Then a terrible crash
Then nothing but the low, gruff voice of a broken machine.

Don't ask me silly questions,
I won't play silly games.
I'm just a simple choo-choo train
And I'll always be the same.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Dragoncon 2013: photo dump

Finally have some downtime to drop down my DragonCon 2013 photos! Enjoy!

If you get punched by Molotov, you're gonna have a bad time

Scary fucking Mr Popo

Afro Samurai


Alchemists wear sneakers. Respect.

Ryan and I around 3am with the speaker from one of the anime panels

Raiders of the lost booze


The best dad of all time

My favorite random cosplay group

Big Daddy

Winners of the Venture costume contest


Have yet to see a Nell that wasn't hot as shit

Me get blood bended

Just blue myself

I would do her, and her and her, set fire to her, do her...

Would fuck her, and her, set her on fire, fuck her...

So many Bobs Burgers cosplay

Monarch and King Gorilla 

Brock. Fucking. Sampson.


Bulma costumes were crazy popular this year


Carl from ATHF

Me hanging out with Keida

Ryan choking out some dude

Chrono Trigger post puberty

FF7 Cid

Clever Girl

Clicker from The Last of Us

Cock worship

Shea and me in the Venture Bros costume contest

Dante from DMC

Best DBZ group costume evar

Venture Bros Dollar Lincoln

Dr. McNinja

Dr. O and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch as Rocky

El Fuerte Ult Combo 1

Envy from FMA

Evangelion. Aska putting on full bitch face.

Me, Ryan, and Wolfwood

Female Broly. Every year she racks up mad reddit karma for these costumes.

Femme. Fucking. Brock. Sampson.

Dragoncon was awesome until the fire nation attacked

Great Saiyaman. And crack. Lots of crack.

Hank Co

Me. Headbanging in a wig.

So much cocillycocaine neighbor

A way better HIM than I did last year

God damn son. Didn't realize I know both of these girls until I was checking my photos later.

The Grand Inquisitor. Had his sister spotting him at all times.

Amazing Isaac (Dead Space)

Honey I shrunk the juggernaut bitch

Naaaaa na na naa naa na naaa na na na naa naa na duguda dugada dugada dugada

The government uses cosplay to keep an eye on us

Has a backpack full of booze


Gettin sexy in the hotel room

Ran into a friend I hadn't seen in 10yrs working security

The best my Drogo-Monarch is gonna get

More cock worship

Akuma murder death kill

Back built by deadlifts

3some yes


This guy ended up being my cartooning instructor in FL. He does an awesome Pliskin voice.


Tim Burton's Joker

Every Tina = hotness

You wanna get high?