benefits to kettlebell training: a beginners lense

Don't listen to me. For real man. If you came here looking for sage advice or to feel justified in making a decision on doing X you're in the wrong place. These brain droppings are so I can remember what I like and what works for me when I inevitably veer away from productivity.

I'm a complete kettlebell novice, but not a lifting novice. Back and neck injuries have kept me on the bench for the past few years and I'm grateful to have the chance to build myself back up. With 0 incentive to revisit lifts or numbers I used to produce without an accompany revisit to physical therapy I've chosen kettlebells as my medium.

Schedule

Squat / press

Off: calisthenics 

Dead / pull

Off: calisthenics 

Weights

Oscillate between medium, heavy, and light pairs of days. Increase the weight when it's too easy. There is no rush to increase weight EVER. The focus is on improving control, coordination, power, and cardio.

Kettlebells will always be submaxinal weight, so make them feel heavy. This means:

- slow negative 

- explosive concentric 

- pause every rep

- squeeze the side that is not being directly worked 

Movements

Choose chaos via python script. It should be rare that the same workout occurs twice, but the same patterns will always repeat. 

Patterns 

- lower / lower alt

- upper

- combination lower and upper

- ab focus 

Nuances

45min on the clock.

As many sets as possible under control.

Rep quality > rep quantity. When in doubt do less but do it better.

1 set is the same sequence repeated on both sides (assuming most patterns are unilateral with 1 bell).

Bilateral movements are repeated on both halves of the set.

Lower / lower alt refers to an alternative movement every other set. Example:

- set 1: rack split squats

- set 2: Cossack squats

Body improvement goals

No measurements, just markers.

This is not an aesthetic physique goal. I essentially want to become a cube. Thin waist be damned.

Shoulders and abs should chunk up. 

Lats should get thicker. 

Spinal erectors should get thick as fuck.

Arms will benefit most from the off day dips/pullups. I don't expect kettlebells to do much in that regard.

Calisthenics: why and how

Dip variation is the name of the game here. I may add in pullups down the road, but my back is getting plenty of work on the reg. Likewise, my shoulders will benefit greatly from all things overhead. That leaves chest and triceps. Even if I'm going hard in the paint on dips, it's unlikely my chest and triceps will ever be a limiting factor for kettlebell work.

On the how, I'm stealing directly from swole at every heights method for implementing high ass frequency on 'off' days.

Build base volume

Week 1: 1 exercise x 1x10

Week 2: 1 exercise x 2x10

...

Week 4: 1 exercise x 4x10

Week 5: 2 exercises x 1x10

...

Week 12: 3 exercises x 4x10

Then add in chaos. Never repeat the same variations in the same order. If this gets too easy in any context, add reps or change the variation. Slow reps and pauses are a first line of adding control.

linear gains : chaotic approach

I've been learning python. Fucking, finally. I've always wanted to be able to program, but I've damn near failed every class I ever took. Good news! The reason isnt that my brain is a dud, it's because taking classes on some things is mind numbingly boring. Unless I can make a connection between an actual problem I'm having and what im learning, it ain't gonna stick. Case and point, sql. Nothing stuck in college, but I'm now considered one of the heavies at my company. 

I've got bigger plans for python, but I started on building a workout generator for sword and shield. With the press of a button, I can get weeks of randomized workouts and weights. There is NOTHING wrong with this approach, but I'm finding my neck still isn't up for dynamic movements. And I'll be damned if kettlebells aren't mostly dynamic.

This means I'm sticking with slower exercises for now, even if the goal is to move the bar as fast as possible. I've always been more comfortable with doing a shitton of times sets instead a few sets to failure to drive progress. This is what I came up with.

General

Linear progression push/pull

6 week mesocycles

Pull current: rdl, sdl, snatch rack pull

Pull reserve: rolling thunder dl, Jefferson dl

Push current: floor press close grip

Push reserve: dips, ring dips, pushups, ring pushups

Schedule 

AM (all days) mobility, sled, or suitcase carry 

Pull: 30min EMOM alternating

- pull current 

- kettlebell clean and press 

- (finisher post EMOM) 3x10-20 cable row

Push: 30min EMOM alternating

- push current 

- ring curl variation or ring row variation 

Off - mobility

Off - hill sprints 

Linear progression

The python randomizer pulls a value out of pull current for ever pull workout. Every time that same movement comes out of the bag, add 10lbs.

Example

Workout 1, rdl, 100lbs

Workout 2, snatch rack pull, 135lbs

Workout 3, rdl, 110lbs

...and so on

The weights start deliberately low and can climb deceptively high in a single cycle should their die roll hit several times in a row. 

Number of reps per set

Unimportant. The goal is to get quality work done without introducing a large amount of fatigue (Dan John's ladders anyone?). Leaving 2-3 reps in reserve is a good baseline. Another way to signal a stop is when speed noticably drops.

Swapping stale movements 

Ideally, movements should be swapped out as needed. This can happen at any point of a 6 week cycle, and serves as a mini deload as the new movement is introduced at it's starting weight. 

Progressive overload

Every full mesocycle completed with a movement increases the floor weight by 2.5-10lbs.

sword and shield variation oct 2022

Ripped this right from bells and bodybuilding. I'm a big fan of a loose program that strives for size and conditioning. As the progenitor puts it - there are bodybuilders who cant move and kettlebellers who look like they don't lift. Why not zoidberg (six: do both).

This program doesn't have scheduled rest days, so intensity and volume have to be pretty heavily monitored and managed. Going too hard on one day could mean sandbagging the next week.

The basics (my variant)

Day1: upper bodybuilding

Press variation 50 reps in 5 sets

Super set

Suspension rows and curls (no goal, just get blood in the body, utilize assisted negatives)

Press variation sets of 8 with 10-30s rest (1/2 main working weight)

Curl 1x100

Neck manual and band resistance x 1 

Day2: AM restore, PM condition 20-60min

Restore - 10min of sled drags or suitcase carries

Condition - alternate movements and loads each session

Explosive hinge : one and two arm swings

Clean and press variations : vary load

Day3: AM restore, PM condition 20-60min

Restore (same as 2)

Condition - (same as 2)

Windmills

Lower : squats, dead variations 

Nuances

I've tried peppering in heavier body building and conditioning days (see: kegs, farmers). I kind of wish I hadn't. These days are definitely possible but they dig a hole you have to eat and sleep out of.

Upper body building days are used both for hypertrophy and for an overall 'rest' for the rest of the body. Specifically, using movements that give your lower back a rest and pose minor danger to your shoulders due to the higher rep ranges.

Overall impression

I don't think I've ever felt better on a program both in terms of how I feel mentally and how well move. It's too soon to evaluate this methodology for strength and size, but I expect time and effort to pack on the meat.

conditioning 10/15

30min circuits

One arm kb swings (20kg x 15)

Windmill 12kg x 5

Keg carry

muscle up promise and peas and carrots

Muscle up promise

I will not watch YouTube or look at reddit until I can do a muscle up. That time is likely months away due to my neck injury and that is a ok with me.

Peas and carrots

The word is in from physical therapy. No more upper body until she clears me to do so. Until I get cleared, this means my days are filled with:

- bw bss (jumping and normal)

- bw one leg rdls

- sled drags from the waist

- nordics

- walking lunges 

- belt squats 

what is serving you

Belt squats yesterday were eye opening. It wasn't that I did an insane amount of reps pain free that was the cool part. No, the cool part was I actually felt squats in my legs. Wild, I know. 

I've been a huge front squats guy for the past decade or so. When my front squat goes up everything goes up. Around 2018 I noticed a sharp turn in how much I felt them in my quads. Soon after this turn, I hurt my knee and it took years to feel my legs working again.

Right now my legs are so sore I can barely walk. All the while I'm not really fatigued other than locally (i.e. I ain't touching squats for another 4 days). I know I'm actually getting growth and strength out of a movement instead of going through old motions that don't work.

Tldr

If you don't feel a intended muscle working it probably isn't.

brain droppings

Strive to be meek

The weak have no agency in expressing violence

The meek could ruin your day if they wanted to

Build an awful power and choose to be peaceful

kettlebell conditioning : one move. simple

1 bell

Dead stop clean and press 100 reps per arm

Or

Dead stop snatch 100 reps per arm

This should take less than 12min and is a fucking beast. Light weight works as well as heavier weight (taper the reps down if reps are less than 10/arm/round).

kettlebell conditioning : complex

Complex : 1 bell

1 rep of

Row

Deadlift

Dead stop clean and press

Snatch

(Switch hands)

Continue for 10min

Death

mentally batching reps for higher rep sets

Tldr 

Change your mindset with higher rep sets.

This is not a 'i discovered this thing. Noone else has ever done this before hisssssssss.' Nah brah. This is a I discovered this thing for myself that helped me slog through the nightmare that is higher rep squats.

Early on in my lifting life, I almost exclusively did sets of 3, 2, and 1. This wasn't entirely a bad thing either. I got close to the peaks of my strength with this strategy, but I ultimately got stronger (raised my strength floor) by way of medium rep back off sets. At my strongest, I was striving for new PRs in the 10rm range. Could I hit a better 1RM when I specialized in higher reps? Hell no, but I wasn't trying to. The entire idea was to get stronger via slowly increasing strength in medium to higher rep ranges. Not surprisingly, I mistook trying Bulgarian light as a method for moving my top end strength. Foolish. All that was happening was I peaked the strength I had spent years building. But I digress.

Higher reps suck. And they are awful. And they suck. There is a special hell with higher rep squatting because you can technically rest your legs (at the expense of your back stamina) and pump out more reps. The super squats program relies entirely on this fact with the use of breathing squats. What I found is a way to make higher rep squats suck slightly less without cheating the goal.

My rep goal right meow is 15. That looks a lot like 5 triples to me! Triples are easy and I love them. Instead of saying I'm on rep 13 Jesus please save me everything is awful, I can say I'm ony last triple. I can do a triple no problem. 

working from home | a unique avenue for powerbuilding

Ten years ago I said something stupid to my girlfriend on the way to a cruise. 

I'm gonna live like an Olympic athlete the entire time we're here. I'm gonna lift a stupid amount of times, then eat and sleep my fill to recover and it's gonna be awesome. 

As with all times when I talked about lifting (and my wife does now), she smiled and nodded and gave 0 shits but wanted to show how supportive she was of my brain droppings.

Weird enough, I'm in a better situation now that I could have possibly ever imagined in my 20s. I work from home, live in a future that has grocery delivery, and I have a home gym with weights I have to work up to lifting again. And dude, it's not getting better than this.

What makes more sense in my situation? Trying to shove a bunch of intense/volume work early before I work, or taking small breaks throughout the day to get in my sets? I accidentally experimented with this about a year ago through intermittent sets to failure of bodyweight pulls. And all it ever accomplished was the most impressive my upper body ever looked.

If you work from home:

• Your food probably lives with you. Prep ahead of time (my choice is slow cooked stews).
• Get a home gym. If you can't afford it or don't have the room, you have a multitude of options to move the needle without a barbell (kettlebells, rings, and homemade kettlebells for swings...I'm a looking at you baby).  

$$$ conditioning idea: booty gauntlet

What you need

1-3 kettlebells of different weights

The skinny

EMOM different variations of pushups. No set rep ranges.

Hit kettlebell movements in the EMOM rest period post pushups.

The fine print on kettlebells

In order, hit sets of the following. Once you fail to hit a complete set, drop down to the next difficulty tier. Once you hit swings, do 1 all out set per weight per round.

Note that you don't rest unless you have to. The snatchesx5 tier means you do that pet arm until it's time for more pushups or you run out of gas.

Example of difficulty tiers (reps per arm)

20kg snatchesx5 

20kg snatchesx3 

20kg cleansx5

20kg cleansx3

16kg snatchesx5

...

16kg cleansx3

20kg two handed swings 1xamap

16kg two handed swings 1xamap

more conditioning ideas

This entire endurance thing is new for me. Each implement tends to have its own benefit and place in my life. 

Kettlebells so far have been a fun comprimise between strength, hypertrophy, and cardio. Noticable changes to my back and shoulders started cropping up after a few weeks of continued use. 

Dragging sleds don't feel like they have a huge cardio impact, but literally every old injury feels better once I'm done. There's a side benefit of making my butt gigantic.

Kegs are fantastic but a little goes a long way. I've enjoyed both longer timed carries (20min) and shorter carries (5min) post workout, but the fact for me remains that 1x weekly is plenty.

Chaotic ideas that have worked for me

1. (Kb) Xmin non-stop

So many opportunities here. 

Single moves (half snatch, clean and press) work great for the sake of being able to 'rest' in the rack or extended position - switching arms when needed. 

Monster sets work even better from a cardio perspective. It's as simple as adding in reverse lunges or squats between switching hands.

Carries before switching hands is easier on cardio, but great for back health. My obliques have thickened up to meet the demands of this route.

2. (Kb) descending rep ladders

Same dealeo as #1 in terms of how many movements you want to employ. The major difference is work is split into individual sets complete with resting after a ladder is completed.

Increase the top rung number of reps to ramp up the difficulty without increasing weight.

Example single movement

Left hand half snatch 5 reps

Right hand half snatch 5 reps

Left hand half snatch 4 reps

...

Right hand half snatch 1 rep

Rest. Repeat 1-3x

Example monster sets

Left hand clean and press 5 reps

Left rack squat 5 reps

Right hand clean and press 5 reps

Etc

3. (Kb) escalating density 

Similar to #1. You set a clock for 15 to 20min. The difference is each set is not 'as many as possible.' 

Each set is 5 reps per arm. Do as many sets as possible in the time block. Rest as needed. Let reps drop as needed.

4. (Sled) EMOM

EMOM = every minute on the minute

Pick a predetermined path and drag the sled one way at the top of every minute. Try to time the distance and load so your rest works out to 20-30 seconds.

5. (Sled) Xmin until death

This is reserved either for: everything hurts or I have no motivation. Keep the load light, set a clock, and drag until you can't. The speed should be slightly slower than walking, and the pump in your legs will be unreal. 

all things hamstrings

Hamstrings are my favorite muscle to train. A good portion of this is I feel my age when Im not giving them the love they deserve. That being said there is no magic bullet for hamstring training that gives me everything I'm looking for. Different moves for different reasons. I'll incorporate everything on this list in any given week.

Best for hypertrophy

Nordic hamstring curls

My wife has made repeated comments at the size of my legs and ass at a time when I hadn't been squatting in over 3 years. I credit nordics for the lions share of that booty.

Best for bulletproofing

Monkey feet leg curls

Fit any leg curl in here. At a time when my back was completely fucked, the method I used to ease some of the pain was daily band leg curls. 

Best for feeling athletic

Power cleans, single leg supported rdl

Power cleans are my classic favorite. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention them, but they aren't something that are in my rotation (replaced with kettlebell cleans which are not remotely the same). Single leg rdls tap into a deep stretch for very little cost up front. Supporting yourself with one hand (power rack, pole, whatever) allows you to lean into the stretch without balance being the limiting factor. This can be easily loaded by holding a dumbbell in your free hand.

Bonus: bodyweight leg curls

An old Ben Bruno move. This is a great alternative to nordics, and can be loaded much quicker. Extra bonus is they are incredibly safe to perform, and single leg eccentric work can be emphasized almost immediately.

get fucked : kettlebell (snatch, press, clean) + carry

I'm sitting in the airport wondering why my lats are telling me to get fucked. Oh. Oh ya. That thing I did that I loved that kept my back under constant tension for 15min.

General template

One arm movement 1-10 reps

One arm suitcase carry

Switch arms

Repeat until time runs out (10-20min)

For me this looked like

5 reps snatch left arm

Walk my lawn suitcase carry

Switch arms

5 reps snatch right arm

Walk my lawn suitcase carry

Switch arms

Repeat for 15min

If it's too easy, add reps, distance, time, or weight. This satisfies exactly what I want out of kettlebell training. My back feels amazing (as it usually does after any sort of abdominal challenge), my cardio was challenged, and I feel like I can still do it again in a day despite my lats anger.

instant recovery : suitcase carry after pressing

Post dips, pressing, whatever, I want to make sure my shoulders are taken care of. Static stretching definitely helps, but I've found suitcase carries to be a more useful option.

I discovered this on accident a few years ago when my left shoulder was giving me issues. All of the tightness I felt immediately dropped away after a light set of cleans. Because I'm a dumbass, I didn't give this two thoughts other than thanking the gods for my sudden great fortune. Suitcase carries are an easier touch method of getting to the same result.as a bonus, they add some basic GPP and promote back health (via building up obliques). 

5-10min post workout is plenty. Walk preset distances and switch hands, or just switch hands when your grip tires out. Weight doesn't matter as much as you would think, but 35+ pounds is a good minimum to start with. If harder conditioning/strength/hypertrophy is the goal instead of recovery, feel free to jack up the weight.

advantages and disadvantages to high frequency

Reflections from the last few months. I've taken exactly 0 rest days for physical activity.

Advantages

- anything 'counts.' physical activity doesn't always mean resistance training.

- hard training can happen less often. The systematic stress is pretty heavy, and It's rare I'm not sore. You can hit muscles with difficult training 2-3x a week and know you're still more than covered.

- smaller warning signs can be heeded immediately. If you need to cut a training session short, who gives a shit. You'll be back at it tomorrow. Nothing is lost.

Disadvantages

- as previously mentioned, constant soreness is a given. Get used to it.

- a high emphasis needs to be placed on recovery. This isn't a bad thing (you should pay attents regardless of whether you're lifting daily), but not having your sleep and diet dialed in will be brutal.

Example schedule: this shifts as needed

Monday: AM full body, heavy. PM Neck

Tuesday: AM sled drags. PM leaded carries

Wednesday: AM kettlebell swings and cleans

Thursday: repeat Monday

Friday: repeat Tuesday

Saturday: heavy conditioning. Sandbag clean and presses, kegs, kettlebells, whatever.

Sunday: walk, sled, whatever.

Within all of these days, I try to get a few fast paced walks during the day or in the evening with my wife. The most obvious change I've noticed is my sleep and axiety has been superb. 

working from home | no excuses to succeed

The fun and not as fun reality of working from home is there is literally no way to hide from the fact that the variables overlording your physical and mental health are mostly under your control. That's a lot to take in. When I couldn't get in shape in the past, I could convince myself it was because I couldn't stop to eat, sleep, or train as often as I wanted. There was always something that filled the gap of 'well if only X I'd be a monster.' Granted these statements were bullshit before I worked from home, let's take a peek at some common variables.

Sleep: I've got no time to sleep!

False. You have no commute. This means you can sleep more at the beginning and end of your day. The wildcard for mid day naps also exists. Who is gonna stop you?

Cardio: I've got no time for cardio!

Falssssse. Multiple short walks a day or hard cardio via conditioning can and should be sprinkled throughout the day. Need to find time? How many times do you dick around on your phone or streaming services? There's time.

Diet; it's too hard to plan meals!

This is stupid false. We live in the future, and the future has Instacart and slow cookers. You literally can have people shop and machines cook for little to no time investment. You have complete control over everything that enters your house and your mouth.

Training: I don't have time to train!

False. Do I even need to do this? I've trained every day for the past few months. Multiple times a day when I have the energy 

The fact is, if you work from home, you are the closest thing to being able to live the life of an elite athelete without being an elite athelete. Add on a few cheap home gym items (pull-up bar, rings, single kettlebell) and you're set for life. 

The cold truth of working from home is this: if you can't get lean and jacked with every advantage in front of you, it was never going to happen. And that's a hard pill to swallow 

conditioning | grit

Over hulaween, I asked my buddy what his secret talent was. Grit. He said,.without hesitation.

I fucking love that. So much so, that I've stopped calling conditioning conditioning or hard cardio. I'm training grit. Resilience. The ability to push through a shitty situation when I want to stop. I've been in a daily training habit for 2 months now (love it), and the majority of my training surrounds grit workouts. 

Why?

- they're good for your heart.

- there is no guess work. I allow chaos to dictate implements, sets, reps, whatever. The only variable I pay attention to and set ahead is time.

- it's an amazing way to start a day or even break up a day.

- they make the workouts that drive strength and hypertrophy easier and possible (see: via rehab and injury prevention).

If we are being honest, I'm fanboying because I've ignored grit my entire training life. All of the programs that said do your conditioning? Ya I didn't. And I regret it a ton.

Today's grit

16min EMOM 

- odd minute 25 kb swings

- even minute 5 kb cleans

8.5min suitcase carry for distance (also kb)