you cant build a house on balsa wood

I accidentally built a foundation when I started lifting. Just, flailing at random stuff while still working on progressive overload. That mixed with youth got me pretty far. Trying to lift anything now is rough. Really rough. Its been so long since I've been able to lift with intensity that nothing feels right or locked in. At Joe kettlebell man states, there is no strength without stability. Thats where I am. Trying to build a house on balsa then getting surprised when it falls.

Yesterday was my first reattempt at 5/3/1. I dont really want to do barbell shit to failure, and it shows. The target muscles from yesterday arent even sore despite multiple sets to failure. And why? Because im trying to build on nothing.

Fast forward to today. I started with multiple sets of gorilla rows thinking I would switch to a one lift a day operation. It felt....fine. it was fine. But I remembered I've had a program i BOUGHT years ago. Sitting and staring me in the face. Each time I started it I stopped because I had too many limitations. I ran into said limitations again today before thinking the most obvious thing (note: the programs author, every god damn dre, also says this but it never stuck).

Not lifting with controlled form? 

Drop the weight.

Can't handle the volume?

Cut the sets in half. Cut the reps in half. Or BOTH.

Can't do a movement? 

Don't! Or cut range of motion. 

I did all of these things. The weight dropped from a sad 12kg to a pathetic 8kg. I did half sets and reps. I couldn't swing the bell so I didnt. I couldn't do lunges with my right leg so I didnt. 

And. I. Feel. Great. 

There is nothing I have that I can lose and everything I can gain. The idea that this program - notorious for being mobility and strength in a bow - can move me towards my goals is intoxicating.