Monday, December 13, 2010

A Moogle's Approach to Overeating/Overtraining

While blistering through the terrain of Final Fantasy 7, you will eventually find yourself in the Gold Saucer desert casino.  The easiest casino game (Mog's House) is very straightforward...feed the moogle enough kupo nuts to energize, fly, and friendrape impress his dream girl.

In case you have avoided final fantasy your entire life. Moogles are...
- small supremacist rats in the world of Final Fantasy
- cute as kittens, common as roaches, used as the non-speaking working class of the Final Fantasy world
- the creamy Ewoks

5lbs of minty douche

Mog will beckon for more Kupo Nuts until he has had enough, at which point he will jump up and down waving his arms in defiance of your food. If you feed him past this point (and the fucktard will eat anything you give him), he will be unable to fly and impress impregnate his moogle bitch. The only way you can lose this game is by ignoring the obvious signs the moogle sends out (or, if like me, you just want to see him fall on his face; forever bringing shame to his clan and commits hari kari outside his moogle bitch's tree home).

The takeaway? The moogle listens to his body, and responds accordingly to a natural stimulus.

Take notice when you overeat. Your body sends out the stimulus that your body is getting full, but you continue to shovel food into your noise hole. What happened? It's not like you made a conscious decision to overeat, you simply decided to be numb to your stimulus. Like most fitness advice, this is hardly a groundbreaking discovery. If compulsive eating is truly a problem for you, surround yourself with low calorie, low carb food that will not necessarily cause your pant buttons to bullet off into a coworker's skull.

Do not even buy food for your home that is your classic binge food. Even if you avoid it 90% of the time, humans (especially Americans) have an emotional connection to food. I can guarantee from personal experience that when shit goes wrong in your life, you will call your old friend ice cream coated Doritos to talk about it.

Your diet is ALWAYS within your control. Failure to take care of yourself is not an option. Don't lose your moogle game, stop eating the kupo nuts when the obvious signs come.

You are not overtrained, stop being a bitch. In stages of constant training, deload your training for a week every 4-5 weeks. If it hurts, stop. If it's sore, sew up your budding vaginas and train until you adapt.

Get some moogle poon. Get stronger.

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