Friday, December 3, 2010

Spot Me Brah

Lending someone a spot on their bench press is an easy responsibility. You have one job: stop the bar from killing the lifter if shit happens.

Your job:
- Stay alert, and stay close to the bar
- If the bar involuntarily cascades down, provide assistance in pulling it back up

Your job is NOT:
- to yell things (encouraging or otherwise)
Calling someone a pussy or screaming 'all you brah' accomplish the same thing, wrecking any concentration the person lifting the bar has left.

- to help immediately when the person starts to struggle
People have sticking or weak points during the bench press. How the fuck is someone supposed to get stronger when you constantly help them? Provide help when help is needed, nothing more.

- to stand directly over their face
A dude with short shorts and more hair than an unshaved Ron Jeremy stood over my face while spotting me. It's kind of hard to lift something heavy when a scented cocktail of Doritos and balls wafts to your nose.

Examples of fail in action
1. I saw a kid texting while his friend was bench pressing. Fail.

2. A kid was benching while his friend zoned out. When the bar fell onto his chest, the kid sputtered and choked . There were no clips on the bar, so the kid survived simply because all of the plates slid off both sides (one side at a time). His friend stood there the entire time. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

3. I got stuck halfway through a bench press when my leg drive failed to help me (cramped the shit out of my hamstring). My spotter immediately grabbed the bar and hoisted it up to the safety bars, smiled, and walked away. I was too tired to hit him...

Fuck you happy. Get stronger.

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