Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Breathing Squats: LSD Under a Barbell

It's 8pm on a Tuesday night. You are all out of acid, your roommates took all your bud (except for seeds and stems, fucking assholes), and the CVS refuses to sell you any more Robitussin.

Fear not, oh grounded friend, for I have found a way to see God juggling hamster shaped chainsaws without the pleasurable tingle of substance abuse.

Breathing Squats
Take a weight you are certain you can squat for no more than 10 reps, then do it for 20 instead. When you are tired, stand under the bar and take deep deep breaths between every rep. DO NOT for any reason give up. You are a lone sire weightlifter, and your orders are to stand under that bar until you prevail or die (please use safety bars underneath numb nuts).

When you breathe, your air should push your abdomen out (those who play wind instruments should recognize this method).

Another way to approach breathing squats is the following:
Reps 1-10, 1 deep breathe between reps
Reps 11-15, 2 deep breathes between reps
Reps 15-20, 3 or more deep breathes between reps

Squat. Breath. Squat. Breath. Trip balls, get stronger.

p.s. You may puke. Just sayin.

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